Law of attraction, was a new concept to me years ago.
When I heard it, I thought it was a kind of law to attract other human beings. I saw these words once on Twitter and honestly, I ignored it. At that time I was in the middle of ‘Having only Twitter kind of life, without any other social media’. I didn’t want to get distracted by any other social medias, it was like I had detox from online life.
I can’t deny, I enjoyed Twitter-only life. I mostly tweeted my own quotes, and read others that were hilarious and full with sarcasm. It was quite interesting, too, since the platform to tweet is only up to 140 characters, it was challenging for me of how to have the depth in the quotes that I wrote. So it pushed my word-creativity talent.
As I was looking forward to everyday routine of ‘tweeting’, my eyes caught the words ‘Law of Attraction’. The first thing came into my mind after reading it was ‘Not Attracted’. I ignored it. Out of a sight, out of the mind, I heard that phrase repeated by many, and this sentence of ‘Law of Attraction’ was clearly not willing to move from my sight. Every time I logged into Tweeter, I would see this over and over again. So of course, my curious mind whispered me to find out what was it all about. It looked like I was attracted to the law of attraction, I thought in my mind, ‘Mmm, whoever found this law, is already working on me, I am hooked!’
The first thing I read was ‘A belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life.’, I paused for awhile, tried to digest the sentence that I just read. ‘So basically it’s about positive thinking, all the time. My mind said, ‘It is not something new’. Then I read some more. I paused again.
‘Is it a concept of delusion?’ Or a denial? As it’s said that ‘One must feel (through creative visualisation) that the desire changes have already occured. It also said that the combination of positive thought and positive emotion is believed to allow attract positive experiences and opportunities.
I paused again.
I didn’t say that I didn’t like what I read. The problem was to believe in it, although I was sure that if we would have positive thought and we let ourselves to feel it, of course positive situation would happen. But I found it hard to chanel our mind into positivity when all we see and we feel is negativity. So I found it hard to believe in it.
When I shared this to a friend, she immediately blamed me for not believing it right away, because that what I sent to my mind, and it would be programmed into a belief that I would carry in me. I smiled, and I said ‘I am being realistic’.
We never talked about it again.
Time passed and the subject of Law of Attraction has faded away.
When I published my book, the same friend asked me, ‘So the book happened, Law of Attraction?’, I looked at her and I answered, ‘No. I have left that subject long ago’.
But it came back now, just like a past that never goes away. I suddenly felt trapped in the middle of a question, ‘Did I practise the Law of Attraction in making my book published?’. I recalled all information I remembered about it, and silently I screamed to myself, ‘No, I didn’t’.
I didn’t wake up everyday felt positive rather the opposite, but I remembered I pushed myself to the limit every single day to live in certain situation where pleasant was not easy to feel, yet I still able to write and poured it from my soul. Though I might had negative feeling when I went through my day and night, but I knew the word ‘broke or financial struggle’ was not the one that stick in my mind neither the one that I chanted to attract universe, yet I experienced it every single day. So I convinced myself that I didn’t practise Law of Attraction.
I have watched a video that was shared on social media in which famous people shared their thought and experience towards the topic, of how its connection without mind and emotion could let our dream to come true.
I didn’t say that what they said on video was wrong, but this is what I acknowledge, that I worked hard and I put efforts under discomfort and distress. It wasn’t a kind of circumstance in which smiles and joys spread all over me or around me, it wasn’t a supportive situation but I pulled it off. I didn’t attract motivation, rather the opposite, yet the result went towards positive side. That’s not what I read and understood about Law of Attraction.
Perhaps unintentionally I did practise the belief. I do get it. But I still have a problem believing it.